Lies of P review - a decent imitation that never quite matches the real thing

A game developer has to be pretty brave to attempt a Soulslike, I feel. Just the fact that they’re still called Soulslikes, nearly a decade and a half on (and surely longer than it took for "Doom clones" to turn into first-person shooters), is probably a sign. FromSoftware just keeps banging out top notch examples of a genre they created, and follow-ups, in Bloodborne, Sekiro and Elden Ring, that all have their own distinct variances from the core template, so plucky pretenders to the throne really need a unique selling point. The Surge has its near-future sci-fi stylings, Nioh leans into character action game combat, and Jedis Fallen Order and Survivor combine Uncharted-esque traversal with a little movie licence from the seventies. New contender Lies of P has, umm, puppets.

Okay, it’s a little more than that; it’s a reimagining of the classic children’s tale Pinocchio. I won’t call it grimdark or anything, because the original was pretty grim and even the Disney movie terrified me as a kid, granting some recurring whale-based nightmares. It’s more of a “catering to people who think overpriced knock-off shirts of gothed-up Disney characters are cool” reimagining. I've got American McGee on the phone here from Y2K.

It doesn’t help matters that this USP isn’t unique. The Victorian-era European city setting and overall design drew immediate comparisons to Bloodborne, which having actually played it, is a little unfair. Lies of P actually copies from Miyazaki and co's entire repertoire. Our little lad’s gadget-laden prosthetic arm and emphasis on parrying come straight from Sekiro, while there are a multitude of sections that feel like Souls knock-offs. Sure, some influences are fine, but when you’re edging along wooden scaffolds positioned high over a pool of poisonous sludge while enemies pelt you with even more poison, you can’t help but think that you’re being subjected to the video game equivalent of a cover band.

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